I feel so fortunate to have been able to conceive naturally. Reflecting back on that time now with our baby on the way, I wish I had discussed my attempts & failures more. That’s my intention with this post, to help other people on their journey.
We began trying in April 2020. After stopping my contraception, my doctor advised that I could start trying for a baby immediately, adding that ‘a lot of women get pregnant the first month’. This was the first bit of pressure pinned in my mind. I have a background in nursing, so I thought I might be immune to the pressures everybody else felt in my journey of trying to conceive, but I was wrong.
I got negative results for the first few months. I didn’t realise how heartbroken I would feel when I was trying & receiving negative results. I started to get concerned but remained determined. I was impatient & caused unnecessary stress myself in thinking that something was wrong. Ringing in my head was my doctor’s advice to not come back to him until at least 6 months of trying, which added to all the emotions. I asked myself unhelpfully “are me & my body performing?”.
By August, my ritual had become obsessing over every little thing or movement. I had a light period & didn’t even bother to test because why waste the money? A few days later I felt sick, the room was spinning. I was nauseous, & I had stabbing pain in my right side. My mind was racing & bringing up worst case pregnancy scenarios ( having a clinical background isn’t helpful sometimes!) It turns out I had appendicitis. After my surgery I contracted pneumonia, so I was on pain relief & antibiotics for 10 days. This was not part of my grand plan!
My partner & I decided to stop trying until 2021 as my body had been through enough. I began a strict regime of exercising twice a day, drinking lots of water & gave up alcohol. I did this to give my body a break, not to assist with conception. In late October, I started to feel nauseous & my boobs were sensitive. I had stopped tracking my cycle so I just thought it was my usual PMS but my period did not arrive.
I did a test & I saw the 2 lines! It was a wonderful shock.
I am now in my third trimester, but I will never forget my journey to how I got here.
My 2 sisters & mam only found out I was trying when I was diagnosed with appendicitis. It was like I was ashamed to tell them. They are all nurses & all have birthed children so their knowledge & experience would have been amazing. However, for some reason, I felt they were too close to me. I didn’t want them to know. I wish there had been something like Mabel to assist me during those times. I wished there was a service for me to call an objective expert to discuss my anxieties & give me proactive tips. This is one of the many reasons I created Mabel.